Can a Girl and a Boy Only Be Friends?
This Valentine, let our quest be of knowing what exactly is love! and let us ponder upon this utterly classic question of all time. A girl and a boy and just friendship? Though the legend Mohnish Behl provided us all a generous solution to this question in an ultra classic ‘Maine Pyar Kiya’, we all know that that’s his freedom of speech and his own point of view and it may be subjective and still open to challenges. Still, We should once again remind ourselves what point he presented. Here, the quote from the legend–
“Ek ladka aur ek ladki kabhi dost nahi ho sakte. Yeh to ek parda hai parda…kapkapati raaton mein dhadakte hue Dillon Ki bhadakti hui aag Ko bujhane ka”.
All right. Quite heavy! But he actually provided us a solution and that is a ‘No’. A girl and a boy can never be friends. Yes, his solution can be wrong but his advantage is, he didn’t philosophize it and answered the question instinctively. And That’s exactly how we are going to be going now, further in this article, instinctive and genuine and simple. To find the real possibilities and conclusion nearest to life.
So once again, the question remains- Can a girl and a boy only be friends?
In reality, There are certain possibilities on both sides. Let’s see.
Possibility 1. Yes. They can only be friends, when one of them looks unhealthy, unsymmetrical, unsparkling, unattractive- in a simple word- ugly. Harsh but true.
Possibility 2. Yes. When one of them is already in a relationship with someone else.
Posb 3. No. When both of them find each other so lovely to be best and close friend, and both of them are single, why the heck they would just remain friends? Friends from the serial ‘Friends’ also got married to each other eventually. Ha!
Posb 4. Yes. If both of them don’t want close relationship with each other but just want to be known to each other on the surface level. Mostly they are part of some bigger group of friends.
Posb 5. No. They can’t be just friends when one of them or both of them are very confused and indecisive. They can neither be friends nor progress further.
Stop. You do realize where we are leading, right? In the territory where one person wants ahead, but the other person doesn’t. (Normally that person is a girl 😉 ) 500 days of summer, Ae Dil Hai Mushkil, Kabhi Haan Kabhi Na, Raanjhaana! Woohoo!
At this point, we should once again go to the basic concept to make it clear. So here it is. What really is love? How does it start? Is it something you do or does it start naturally without any control of you whatsoever? Or actually, love is not like a light bulb which instantly happens when you or someone else switches it on but It’s a gradual process, a journey? Leave this unanswered, and let this pondering lead us to the next possibility of this question- Can a girl and a boy be only friends?
Posb 6. No. They can’t be just friends, If one of them loves another person but the other person doesn’t. The friendship relationship becomes messy. The person demands which the other person could not supply. But this actually isn’t love in a real sense.
Posb 7. Yes. They can be only friends. Even when both of them love each other. Due to societal pressures and fears. To lead the more practical and long-lasting – secure life. They do not remain close friends though. Actually, they do not remain friends in the real sense.
*A numberless point-
YES. YES. YES. They can just be friends. Even when just one of them is in love with the other. How? Suppose they connect really well and the boy starts to fall in love with the girl but the girl doesn’t, due to various reasons of her own. Boy senses her disinterest in him and gets to know that she just wants to be friends. Here comes the twist. Because (and not but) he loves her, he will leave her. To her own. The friendship will remain, but he wouldn’t let her know that he loves her, for her sake. Now, His love is independent of a person.
You should understand very carefully that it is not about accepting a no and moving on. No. That’s philosophy. Not love. Accepting a ‘No’ means you are acknowledging that there is a ‘No’ in the first place. Here, The lover just doesn’t care about yes or no. He just loves and surrender happens. The love has started to liberate him. From him. A boy is a lover and a friend at the same time. He has stopped seeing the difference.
Hi Rumi. Hello Ithaka. Welcome, The Alchemist!
This is the journey. Transcending the society. Beyond the methods of chains of give and take. The real one. It’s up to you.
So without wasting the words, next time, when you have a question like can a girl and a boy just be friends, rephrase it to yourself, and ask, Do I have the guts to love… really? Everything else is just philosophy and doesn’t matter.